Had a couple of weddings to attend. No idea why friends who know each other pick wedding days within weeks. So thanks to wedding cards I had to sustain on stolen wedding cake and cup noodles for a while.
One friend died, not at the weddings it was unrelated. Really sucks when that happens, but at least there was Bereavement Cake and Wings at the wake.
Went to the doctor because my abdomen hurt, most likely from an excess of cake. Pelvic Hernia! While the doctor poked me like the pilsbury dough boy, he asked if I would like a tummy tuck while he was busy cutting into my most likely cake swollen intestinal protrusion. I was like, if insurance covered it then sure why not hack off chunks of flesh. Insurance must have been in a good mood that day because they said; sure, why not. Those fucks won't let me get name brand medication, but will fit the bill for body augmentation? That will be happening in June.
Had to spend a day with my brothers new girlfriend. Really just a weird, weird, annoying, weird person. This personality trait seems to come to a head when in public settings or when eating a meal. Topics she always wishes to talk about are included but not limited to; How long is your dick, what kind of porn do you jerk it to, how horrible black people are, how arabis need to be killed, something racist something mexican, have I ever tried to suck my own dick, how long in jail or a walking dead setting would it take before I would have sex with men, What kind of animal would I have sex with, reminding me every time I meet her that she is a bisexual, acting like having stds isn't abnormal, Asking what kind of sex I enjoy, who I have had sex with, etc. Also she is oddly offended by jokes about the mentally challenged and dead baby/pedophillia humor. So when I get annoyed enough, you can bet I pull my how many retarded dead babies can fit in a pedophiles van jokes. The answer for that one is potato.